Paradise was now within reach, when the devil came out of hiding... - Rain of Gold
I’ve been acting like an ass. I finally figured out why. I have become insecure. And insecurity is a motherfucker. As if the devil is playing games with your mind just to see how many beautiful things you can destroy. Due to this insecurity I hurt the person that loves me most and, for that, I am sorry. I know I have apologized time and time again. However, the damage that was done will take me a lifetime to repair. I feel as if I destroyed the most beautiful feelings somebody has ever had for me. Sadly, my own ego has been my downfall. I thought I was different and that I was better than any other before. And I failed. Miserably. I have been humbled and cut down to size. I am just like them. She always told me that she had no expectations and I always responded that with me she could and should have them. And, I am just like them. Just another page from the book of disillusionment and disappointment. I had prided myself in being better than them and being different. Yet, life has a way of truly humbling you. And love has a way of showing true forgiveness. I love her. She knows it. Now, I have to get rid of these insecurities. Now I shouldn’t just say it and mean it. I must live it.